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Fruhstuck, the first meal the newcomers joined, proved chaotic, and began with certain members of the group refusing to pronounce the name of the meal in any way that didn’t sound shockingly rude.

A separate table had been set out for the boys. When the rest of the school sat down to begin their meal, and grew quieter, only chatting in low tones and politely passing things to each other, the boys did not. They continued to insult and whack each other. Sam tried to find out how many boiled eggs he could fit in his mouth in one go. Puck started throwing the contents of his plate at him. Kurt opined loudly and ineffectually that they were disgusting specimens of humanity. Mr Schuester, from the staff table, made meaningful faces at them, was ignored, and gave Hilda an apologetic grimace.

She was about to call them to order, confident that her voice would have the same effect on the unruly boys as it had on certain Middles, when she was distracted – as Finn was – by Rachel leaning into the buttery hatch and demanding the attention of whoever was inside.

“This is unacceptable!” she was shouting. “I am a vegan, and this coffee has more cream in it than a dairy farm. My dads will sue!”

Several heads swivelled at the unexpected plural.

At another table, Santana was scraping all the butter off her thickly-buttered roll.

“If Coach Sylvester saw me eating this crap she’d freak.”

Quinn followed suit. “I don’t want people thinking I’m pregnant again.”

More heads swivelled at that. Hilda was going to have to have a talk with the visitors. There were certain topics that just wouldn’t do in a school like this one.

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