Returning Birds by Someone
Summary: Joey knocks herself out and wakes up thinking that she is nineteen and waiting for a new house guest. Reg, Sissy, and Flicker are assigned to her care, but little do they know how emotional Joey was at nineteen, and they are desperate for their wild attempts to cheer her up not to fall on deaf ears.
Categories: Ste Therese's House Characters: Cecil Maynard, Charles Maynard, Con Maynard, Felicity Maynard, Felix Maynard, Geoff Maynard, Jack Maynard, Jem Russell, Jo (Bettany) Maynard, Len Maynard, Madge (Bettany) Russell, Margot Maynard, Mike Maynard, OC, Phil Maynard, Reg Entwistle, Robin Humphries, Roger Richardson, Ruey Richardson, Stephen Maynard
School Period: Future
School Name: Chalet School
Genre: Drama, Family
Series: Maynard Madness
Chapters: 5 Completed: No Word count: 4362 Read: 10896 Published: 10 May 2014 Updated: 06 Mar 2015

1. Crash, Bang, Wallop by Someone

2. Waking Up by Someone

3. Amnesia by Someone

4. In the San. by Someone

5. Flicker and Len by Someone

Crash, Bang, Wallop by Someone
Writing with a headache is hard. (Trust me, I know.) The best-selling girls' authoress, Josephine M. Bettany, known to us as Joey Maynard, knows even better.

In the brightly lit study, she laid down her pen. Her latest book, The Crimes of the Outlaws, which she was basing on the many hair-raising doings of her daughter, Cecil and her friends, John (who's a girl) and Ellie Maddox, who formed a band called the Outlaws, lay on the desk. The first page, with the dedication, lay on top. It read For my dear daughter Cecil and her friends John and Ellie, the original Outlaws.

She looked outside. The pouring, drizzly rain which had confined the occupants of Die Blumen to the house had stopped and Joey decided that nothing would clear her head more than a walk.

The said walk worked out miraculously and she was able to clearly organise in her head a chapter about a game known as "mountaineering", which was the latest craze between the three and therefore in the book as well.

At last, returning from her walk, she found that she was feeling rather peckish. Taking off her coat and hat, she slipped into Anna's larder, a forbidden Eden for her. She found some cold ham and a pie, and with a cup of coffee, she made a good meal.

Turning to go before Anna found her, her foot found one of her slippery footprints from earlier and, the wet sole against the wet tile, she skidded, then went over, banging her head sharply on the corner of the table. As the back of her already banged skull found the bright tiles, Joey knew no more.
Waking Up by Someone
Joey sat up. She appeared to be lying on the sofa. Then she looked around her and frowned in confusion. This wasn't Die Rosen. It looked a little like Die Rosen, and the view from the window was the same, but while the Salon in Die Rosen was decorated a very well-co-ordinated red, this room was blue. Sofas and armchairs were scattered around the room, and opposite where she was sitting, Jack filled one. He smiled when he saw she was awake.

Joey still felt very vague. The only thing she was acutely aware of was a blinding pain in the back of her head. Maybe it was red, after all. Maybe she was seeing things and all the extra chairs and sofas weren't there at all. Maybe she was in Die Rosen. Yes, she must be. Where else would she be?

Suddenly, she remembered her manners and greeted her friend.

"Oh, sorry! Hello, Jack! Did Madge or Jem show you in?"

Jack frowned. "Joey, what are you talking about?"

"Have the guests arrived?" she continued. "What's she like? The girl, I mean, not her mother. She's my age, Jack, and the three of us are going to be such friends!" She ended on an excited note.

Jack bit his lip. This did not look good. "Joey, what guests? We aren't expecting any guests!"

Joey looked confused. "What do you mean, we aren't expecting any guests? And have you forgotten? The Howards?"

Jack's face clouded. The Howards! Now her blabbering made sense! It had been quite a knock.

As if to confirm his worries, a young voice outside yelled "Voices! She's awake!"

Jack rushed over to Joey and grabbed her shoulders, pushing her back against the back of the sofa.

"Is that Peggy? And that reminds me" she continued to babble "have you seen Rix? Has he come out of his temper tantrum yet?"

There was a thunderous noise and the door burst open, revealing a crowd of strange children, none of whom she recognised. With gleeful cries of "Mamma!", they all ran forwards.


Jo turned and looked behind her. There was no-one there. They must mean her.

In confirmation, one very small girl with a cloud of chestnut hair ran forwards and took a fistful of her skirt. Jo looked down at her in alarm and tugged her skirt away. It was red. Since when had she owned anything red? The little girl's smile wavered for a moment, then she burst into tears.

Jack grabbed the girl and put her out of the room.

"Out, out, all of you, out!" he cried. They fled, frightened, but one girl protested.

"But Papa-!"

"OUT, I said, Cecil!" roared Jack. The girl followed the others.

Papa? Something was wrong. Very wrong. Jo was beginning to feel alarmed.

"Jack! Who are those children? Who let them in? Where am I?" For the illusion of the blue room had not vanished. "Where are Madge and Jem and Robin and Stacie and Grizel and Juliet and Daisy and Primula and Peggy and Rix and Bride and Jackie and Davie and Sybil?"

Jack grabbed her arms and bent down so that his eyes were on a level with hers.

"Joey." he said, his voice very serious. "I want you to give me your full name, your age and the year."

Joey gaped at him. "Josephine Mary Bettany, nineteen, nineteen thirty-three. Why?"

Jack let go of her, uttered a word she did not recognise - sheltered as she was, Joey had never heard anyone swear before - and left the room. He returned a minute later with a sharp object. He sat down on the arm of the sofa right next to her, but his head was high above hers. He reached down with his free hand and put an arm round her waist so that she could feel it diagonally across her back. It made her feel uncomfortable.

She looked up at him and began once again her stream of questions.

"Jack, where is everybody? Who were those children? Where am I? Why am I here? Why on Earth did you want to know my name? What's going-?"

Her question was left unfinished as Jack pulled her sleeve up roughly and dug the sharp point of the syringe into her arm and her eyes rolled back in her head as she fainted, her head lolling, her mouth open slightly, and resting in the crook of Jack's arm.
Amnesia by Someone
Author's Notes:
Damn! Forgot a chapter!

(Why is it always Chapter 3 or 4...?)
With a heavy heart, Jack put the receiver back onto its cradle, having just called the Sanatorium for an ambulance. When she had spoken about waiting for the Howards, who had stayed with the Russells more than thirty years ago, and the daughter, now Mrs. Hunter, was still living on the Sonnalpe, "making a pain of herself" as Jack was wont to put it, he had guessed that there might have been something wrong, but the clincher had been the answers he got from his questions.

He spared a sad thought for her at that point, no longer his darling, still sleeping her drugged sleep on the sitting-room sofa. He went back in to check on her. She lay there, her shimmering, jet-black hair loose and spread about her in a great dark halo. He wanted to bend over and kiss her rose-tinted cheek, or her ruby lips, but he knew that the nineteen-year-old Jo would hate him for that.

He turned and went instead to the nursery, to where his children had fled after his order to them to leave. The older children (this includes the ones who were young adults) had worked out what could be wrong with her, but none of them were sure, not even Reg, so younger siblings had not yet been filled in on this.

On Jack's arrival, Marcia ran forwards and flung her arms around his waist. She looked up at him earnestly.

"Is Joey alright?" she asked.

Jack sighed. "She has no bodily pain."

"But mentally?" asked Con nervously.

Jack sighed again and sat down on the nearest chair, lifting Marcia onto his lap. The little Russian girl put her arms around his neck comfortingly.

"Does anyone know what amnesia is?"

There was a dead silence. Cecil tentatively raised a hand, as though she were in a classroom. When Jack favoured her with a look, she replied.

"Isn'it when someone forgets loads of stuff - not like where their keys are-"

"Mamma forgets that all the time!" said Phil with a forced laugh, hoping to lighten the heavy mood, but the joke fell rather flat and only earned her a withering look from her father.

"-like who they are and stuff." finished Cecil as though she had not been interrupted.

Everyone looked stricken.

Jack nodded sadly. "They can also forget everything after a certain point in their life and awake convinced that they are still at that point."

Everyone leaned forward a little.

"While your mother has not forgotten who she is, she believes that she is nineteen and that she is waiting for the Howards to arrive. She claims that the two of us will be great friends with the daughter."

Everyone looked heartbroken.

"So...she doesn't remember, at all?" asked Cecil, to whom the affection of her parents was what kept her going from day to day.

Jack shook his head. "I have 'phoned for an ambulance." was all he offered in reply.

All hope was lost for the Mob. Jack saw them all crumple, and reach for each other. Marcia was crying quietly, and he guessed that she was not alone.

It was at that point that the ambulance arrived to take the still unconscious Joey to the Sanatorium. It seemed sad to the Mob that Joey, whose spirit was almost indestructible, was to be taken off in such a manner, unable to cope.
In the San. by Someone
Author's Notes:
A bit of profanity here - we now have Reg on the case!
Joey lifted her head. She had no idea where she was, how she had got there or whether or not be was actually awake. Her pain had not abated while she had been asleep, and she felt almost blinded. She felt so vague, in fact, that she was not sure whether she was dead or alive. The room span and she seemed to be floating on an unpleasant, dizzy haze.

A nurse entered, bearing a tray on which lay a covered dish. She looked pleasant, and quite young. Her golden hair was pinned up in a neat little knot at the nape of her neck. Several curls fell from this knot, which was pinned quite loosely, and she patted these strands occasionally in a satisfied manner. She had bright green eyes and she was grinning broadly. She gave Jo a nod as she set her tray down on her bedside table.

"There you go, Mrs. Maynard, I know it's broth again and you hate broth, but your husband insisted. Oh, and, speaking of your husband, he'll probably be in to visit later."

With that, she left.

Joey stared after her in astonishment. Her head felt like it was pounding, if that was even possible, even more than it had been before the nurse had entered. She tried desperately to organise her flying thoughts.

"Mrs. husband..." Then it hit her. "Oh, no! Not Jack?!"

And, with that, she gave a deep groan of pain, and fell back onto the pillows again, once more unconscious.


Jo blinked and sat up again. She found that she was in her nightgown and was tucked up in a bed with crisp, snowy white sheets. The walls were painted a dark red and she recognised the room as the San.

She yawned and wondered vaguely to herself what she had done to herself to land up in here. After a while, she remembered the strange conversation she had had with Jack and she immediately came to the conclusion that it and her winding up in the San. were not unconnected.

A short time later, a young doctor - little older than her, thought Jo - entered the room. Something stirred deep in her mind and she had a vague feeling that she recognised him, but she could not put a name to his face, nor could she state exactly how she knew him, so she concluded that she had just seen him somewhere, or maybe just someone who looked a bit like him.

"Hi, Jo." he grinned at her.

"How do you know my name?" she asked. "Are you new?"

"Meh. Ish." he replied. "I've been 'ere a couple years. I was sort of always gonna work here."

"Right." replied Jo. "I haven't seen you before."

"Okey-doke." he said. "I've just gotta write down on this 'ere clipboard that you're awake. Is your bonce OK?"

"My what?"

"Your bonce. Your head."

"No. It still hurts ever so."

"A'right. I'll stick that down too." He scribbled something down on the clipboard that he carried. "I'm Reg Entwistle, by the way."

"Nice to meet you...Dr. Entwistle."

Reg felt slightly odd at this. Joey had never called him "Dr. Entwistle" before, except when she was joking around with him.

"Now." he continued. "Anything else you want to say - any questions, maybe?" He knew that amnesia patients would soon get up a large collection of these.

"Yes." said Joey, trying to fight off the sharp pain in the back of her head. "The nurse who was in here called me 'Mrs. Maynard.' What were the whys and wherefores of that? Dr. Entwistle, did I... did I marry Jack? Jack Maynard, that is." she added as an afterthought. "You may not know who he is."

The colour drained from Reg's face. "Ohhhhhhh, sh*t!" he cried. "Yeah, I know who Jack is..." He suddenly ran out of the room. "Oi! Jack...Jack... Oh, yeah, sorry... Dr. Maynard...Dr. Maynard! There's been a bit of a whoopsie..."

Joey, left to herself, and more than a little confused, at last succumbed to the pain, and fainted again.


"And she awakes!"

Jo looked up. The pain had, at last, gone and there was a different nurse standing in front of her.

"Good, good." said the nurse. Jo could see that she was carrying the same clipboard that Dr. Entwistle had been carrying. "Does your head still hurt?"

"No." replied Jo.

"Great. We were worried it wouldn't stop, see, and so we had to give you meds."

"Where's the last nurse?" asked Jo.

"She's been sacked!" the new nurse replied with relish.


"Weeeeell..." The nurse waved a hand. "Not sacked sacked, just sacked from looking after you." She whistled. "Boy, Dr. Maynard was mad!"

"Why?" asked Jo.

"Oh, there was just that minor slip-up when she called you "Mrs. Maynard"." A thought seemed to occur to her. "I'm Nurse Winterton, by the way."

"Hello, Nurse Winterton." replied Jo. "I'm Joey Bettany."

"Right." said Nurse Winterton. "Errr. Yeah."


"Ummm... Right. Now what do I say?"

"Why?" Jo sat up. "What's going on? I went to sleep and when I woke up, I was in a strange room and Jack was asking how old I was and what my name was and there were all these strange children and the next thing I know, I'm in the San. again and my head is just so sore and then I find that, during the course of this sleep, I married Jack, and I don't know what to think!" At this, she succumbed to the tears that had been coming on ever since she had woken up in the strange room and cried with vigour.

Cecilia Winterton was not a nurse for nothing. Jo was lifted up so that she was sitting up properly, then pulled into the young nurse's arms, and rocked slightly until her sobs subsided.

"Jo." Nurse Winterton knelt down by Jo's bed and looked at her patient seriously. "What is the last thing that you remember before you woke up in the strange room?"

"Well, it was an ordinary sort of day. I was doing my writing, and playing with the kids in the nursery - my nieces and nephews, you see. One of them, Rix, had a tantrum, and I got sent away by Rosa, who's in charge of the nursery. I had had a headache all day, you, see, and my brother-in-law, Jem, gave me something and told me to go to sleep. He's a doctor, you see, and he founded this place." She gestured vaguely round the room.

"And then you woke up and you were in a different room?" prompted the young nurse.

"Yes." replied Jo. "Do you know why?"

The nurse sighed. "Yes." she said sadly. "Joey, do you know what amnesia is?"

"A...amnesia?" stammered Jo. " Never heard of it."

"It's memory loss." said Nurse Winterton. "Good and proper. A knock to the head, like you had, can bring it on. Anna found you in the kitchen lying unconscious on the floor. It had been raining, and you'd obviously slipped over on one of your footprints. She got Dr. Maynard to come, and he brought you into the sitting room at Die Blumen, which is the room in which you woke up. At first he thought it was just a knock to the head, but then it turned out you'd ended up with amnesia, too."

"So...when is it now?" she asked. She knew that time had passed, as the first thing she had noticed had been that her hair, which had been down to her chin when she had fallen asleep, was now surrounding her in a huge pool. She had yet to decide whether she liked the effect.

"It's '84, love." said the young nurse sadly, before bracing herself for the reaction.

"'84." repeated Jo vaguely. "1984. So, how old am I?"

"50, love." Nurse Winterton told her gently.

"That doesn't add up!" Joey pointed out.

"No, dates in this world never do." was the airy reply. "It's what comes of having an author who doesn't know why she's in the top set for Maths, and can't be bothered to calculate ages properly."

"Oh." replied Jo. And then: "How many kids do I have?"

"I actually don't know!" laughed the nurse. "But, y'know all those kids as bounded in when you woke up?"


"All of them were yours."

"All of them?!" Joey was aghast.

"Well, some of them are adopted. I suppose it feels less weird when they all came in twos and threes."

"Mmm." replied Joey. "Are they like me when I was a child?"

"Depends on what you mean." replied Nurse Winterton. "Yes, they really take after you in personality, but no, they just haven't grown up in the same world as you. There's television - media's really taking off. Fish an chips, they're more mature, so they can buy their own chips, music - there are some pretty awesome bands like Slade out there, but there's this awful band called the Bay City Rollers-"

"I love the Bay City Rollers!"

The fair-haired nurse was back, with more broth. Nurse Winterton pointed a firm finger at her.

"Not a word, Willow, not a word."

Whistling, Nurse Willow set the tray down and departed.

"So, as you can see," Nurse Winterton told Jo, "they've brainwashed her as they've brainwashed thousands of other vulnerable young girls like her. Then again, Nurse Willow doesn't have a brain to be washed, sooo..."

The two women laughed together.

"You do actually have to eat that broth, you know." grinned the nurse. She was beginning to see which facets of the women she knew harked back from childhood. Quite a few, evidently.

Joey picked up the spoon and began to eat.

"Sissy, by the way." said Nurse Winterton.

"Sissy what?"

"My name."

"Oh, yes. Sorry."

Joey shook Sissy's hand, and the nurse left her to it.
End Notes:
Chapter complete. I think the bands mentioned are a bit too early, but they're the best I have.
Flicker and Len by Someone
Sissy was sitting with Jo when a different nurse pranced in. She had curly hair of a very rich blonde, rosy cheeks, and rectangular glasses behind which were her distinguishing feature: one blue eye, and one green one.

"Hello, Joey." she grinned. "I am Dr. Summers."

Jo frowned. "You're a doctor?"


"How can you be a doctor if you're a woman?"

"Advances in gender equality." the young doctor replied airily, tossing her head so that a stray lock of hair flew out of her eyes. "I live in Die Blumen, by the way. Sort of a cross between a tenant and extended family - I'm no real relation, though."

"What's your first name, then?" asked the ever-curious Joey.

Dr. Summers grinned. "That's a state secret. Everyone calls me Flicker."

"Nice name." Joey said appreciatively. "I shall have to try and fit it into one of my books. Do I still do my books?" she added as an afterthought.

"Yup." said Sissy. "You're Quite Famous now, you know. You said once that your favourite review was from a newspaper critic who said you could adapt to children's changing tastes and still sound like you."

Joey smiled, a warm feeling spreading through her as Flicker unwound the bandage round her head and gave it to Sissy, who passed Flicker a clean one with her other hand and hurried out of the room with the used one, turning in the doorway.

"Bye Jo, bye Flick!"

"Bye, Sis!" called Flicker after her, before turning back to Jo as she deftly fastened the bandage and stepped back to admire her handiwork. "Sissy and I have known each other since we were fourteen. Long story, let's just say that we went to school together."

Flicker fussed around Jo for a bit more, giving her pills and numerous spoonfuls of vile-tasting brews. Sissy did not return.

"She's gone off to her next shift, on the kids' ward. Before you ask, yes, it's still supported by the Chalet School." Flicker grinned. "I was thinking that you might be able to have visitors soon. We wondered if Jack?" Flicker's rather odd sentence was greeted by a wide-eyed look of worry.

"Whyever not?" asked Flicker, taken aback. This was a situation that she had not foreseen - she had imagined Jo relaxing into the idea of being Mrs. Maynard, once she had got over the initial shock, which, admittedly, had been administered rather early - and it was likely to be an emotionally painful one for all concerned.

"I...I just couldn't face him, knowing we were married. I don't know what sort of a marriage we had, and I don't want to know. I don't want anyone going all soppy over me - least of all Jack!"

Flicker was silent. She didn't know what to say.

"I don't really want visitors." continued Jo. "I don't want to know what the world is like either." She sighed deeply. "I wish I could...could just...just..." She waved her hands above her head wildly, searching for the right words. "Just go back to sleep and wake up back in 1933, and not marry Jack, or have children, but stay at home - maybe travel a bit, I've always wanted to travel round the world - and write my books, and help Madge with the babies." She sighed sadly. "And I suppose I'd have to give up being friends with Jack, as well. I just...don't want him near me - wouldn't want him near me! - knowing we were to be married." She sighed again, looking upset. "It's a pity, really. He was such an excellent friend as well. Very supportive. It was easy to forget that he was an adult and I was not. He always told me that I should do what I wanted to do - what made me happy. Loads of other people were pressuring me to get married almost straight out of school." Then she shuddered as a thought occurred to her. "What if he was in love with me when...when I fell asleep?"

Flicker shrugged, palms upwards. "No idea. Can you imagine me asking him? He'd absolutely boll- wallop me!" She laughed, having remembered to mind her language in front of Joey just in time.

Flicker left as Reg came in. Joey's head was bursting with questions to ask him - did he have a connection to the family? What was it? What did he think of her children? What sort of a relationship did he have with them? What sort of relationship did she have with them? What were they like? The list went on and on - but she squashed them, turned over and pulled the sheets over her head. When Reg asked her to pull the sheets back so that he could inspect her head, he found her unresponsive. When he pulled the sheets back himself she did not look up at him, nor did she move when he asked her to. Puzzled at her behaviour, he left her to rest, and she made the only movement she had made since his arrival - to shoot back under full cover of the sheets.

Turning to leave, however, Reg heard her muttering.

"I whacked my head - I was stupid enough to whack my head, and I'm dreaming. It's a silly dream - of course this won't really happen. Fancy having so many children! I dreamed I was married to my friend Jack, and won't Marie laugh when she finds out that I dreamed this, and I dreamed that I had to stay in bed all the time, and I dreamed that they asked me if I wanted Jack to visit, and - oh! - I shall have to tell him that we can't be friends any more if he really does want to marry me, but I shall miss him so - he'll only ever be a friend - but I don't want to know what's happening, and what if I dream that somebody's died - Mademoiselle or someone - or that I never see Madge and Jem anymore, and this is a horrible dream and I want to wake up! I want to wake up! I!" Her voice had been rising as she spoke, and it ended in a shriek and a sob. Suddenly, Reg realised that she was crying violently. He sped back over to the bed and pulled the covers back, but she was like a mouse, and shrank back from him, holding her hands up in front of her to shield her, and so he put the covers back, deciding that she would be best left on her own to calm down if that was how she reacted.
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