Solange by Someone
Summary: The Richardsons' French cousin comes to visit them at the Sonnalpe, but she is hiding a secret...(and it's not as serious as it sounds!)
Categories: St Clare's House Characters: Cecil Maynard, Charles Maynard, Con Maynard, Felicity Maynard, Felix Maynard, Geoff Maynard, Jack Maynard, Jo (Bettany) Maynard, Len Maynard, Margot Maynard, Mike Maynard, Phil Maynard, Reg Entwistle, Roger Richardson, Ruey Richardson, Stephen Maynard
School Period: Future
School Name: Chalet School
Genre: Humour
Series: Maynard Madness
Chapters: 3 Completed: No Word count: 1208 Read: 4422 Published: 30 Nov 2013 Updated: 13 Dec 2013
Story Notes:
This story is inspired by David Walliams' 'The Boy in the Dress'. That should give you a big hint.

1. Hair Dye by Someone

2. Ruey Dyes Her Hair Part I by Someone

3. Ruey Dyes Her Hair Part II by Someone

Hair Dye by Someone
"Oh, it's just too boring!" Ruey Richardson was not happy. The talk in the Maynards' salon had turned to hair after their parents had left the room, and Ruey was bemoaning the fact that she had boring hair.

"You need to dye it, Rue." said Con idly.

"Can you see Jo or Jack letting me?" wailed Ruey. Con just grinned.

"Why do you lot not all just have black hair?" asked Erica. "I mean, Jo's got black hair and Jack's got black hair."

Everyone turned to Reg, as the only doctor in the room, for they felt quite sure that it was a question of genes. "Well, Dick's blonde, isn't he? So that suggests one blonde grandparent. That Mrs. MacDonald...woman...thingamabob...sister of Jack's is nearly blonde, isn't she? So that suggests another blonde grandparent. That is two blonde grandparents, which is equivalent to one blonde parent. When blonde genes and black genes mix, you get redheads! But, of course, you can't guarantee anything with genes, so you get blonde hair, black hair, chestnut hair, you name it!"

"I wonder what Mamma would look like with blonde hair!" grinned ten-year-old Eliza, possessed of blonde hair herself.

"I don't know." returned Margot amicably "We'll have to dye it to find out!"

"Oh, no you don't!" cried a new voice. Jo had come to join the conversation and had come in time to hear this last exchange. "There will be no dying of my hair, thank you very much!"

"Not even perming?" laughed Phil.

"Definitely not!"

"Not even a tiny little one?" Cecil joined in.

"Oh, NOW I'm tempted. I've always felt jealous of people with curly hair. I know Jack likes it the way it is, but still..." She remembered that she had an audience and blushed a little, for indeed, Jack had often told her how much he loved her hair. She smiled round at them. "So, what's the gossip?"

"That if you're nice to us, we'll dye your hair blonde." said Len.

"And if I'm not?" challenged Joey.

"We'll dye your hair neon green."

"And how does one dye a person's hair when the person is showing a marked resistance to having their hair dyed?" Len ignored this. Instead, the group filled her in on their conversation.

She leaned forwards conspiratorially. "I might be able to rustle something up, but I don't know."
Ruey Dyes Her Hair Part I by Someone
Author's Notes:
I ended up having a Jack's-hair-off in the reviews section. Jack will always be dark-haired to me, but if I can read 'fair' six million times and still picture Jack with his head looking like a coal scuttle, I'm sure you can all picture him how you like. It wasn't important and you can picture him with bright pink hair if you like!
A week later, when the children had all but forgotten their conversation, Joey came into the nursery looking furtive. "I got you this, Ruey, to make your hair look more interesting, if you don't like it how it is." She held out a small package, the front of which showed a young woman with flowing hair of the most beautiful golden colour, and everyone grinned at the prospect of more mischief.

Joey started organising them all, sending seventeen-year-old Conchitta, one of their many wards, downstairs to get a bowl of warm water, not bothering to read the instructions on the packet. "How much did this cost you, Mamma?" asked Len.

"Oh, only five euros, nothing major." replied Jo airily.

Conchitta returned with the water, carefully stepping over toys and books which littered the floor - the Maynards had their mother's genes in the tidiness department - and set it down on the little table, making sure not a drop was spilled. Jo got off the said table, on which she had been perched, and thanked the girl. "You can have some if you like, my dear." she joked.

"Gracias, Joey, but I do not think it would look...right on me!" Everyone laughed at this. Conchitta was Brazilian, the last survivor of the Xanti tribe, who had lived in peaceful existance on the banks of the Amazon river, until they had been shot dead by angry English settlers who wanted someone to take out their troubles on, and only two escaped, a man and a woman, who fled to England, before marrying, having Conchitta, and getting ill. Her mother had died early on, and Conchitta had had to look after her father, meaning that she had very little time for school. Fortunately, she had found a job as an instructor at an adventure holidays camp in France, but her father still had to pay for her keeping. As luck would have it, the Maynards had chosen to holiday at this particular camp, and Jo and Jack had taken a shine to Conchitta. She told them of her situation, and that her if her father died she would have nowhere to go. When the holiday was over, Jo had given a piece of paper with theircadress and telephone number written on it, and told her to get in touch if the worst happened. Six months later, they had recieved a letter, and sure enough, they kept their promise, and now Conchitta lives with them. She had skin the colour of milk chpcolate as a result of her background, and blonde hair simply wouldn't have matched.
Ruey Dyes Her Hair Part II by Someone
Ruey carefully dipped her head into the bowl and stayed there for a while, showing off her flexibility. She did look a little strange, it must be said.

She washed her hair with the dye, then wrapped her hair in a towel and allowed it to set.

Joey plonked herself down on the edge of the table and it promptly collapsed, sending the bowl flying across the room in a catapult effect, spilling its contents as it went.

The maltreated bowl shattered noisily on the far side of the wall, and Joey warned all the small fry to stay away from the glass shards, the older children staying away of their own accord.

Jo looked around for more damage, and her sharp eyes noted the obvious immediately, although no-one else had truly registered it yet: "You're all covered in hair dye!"

"So are you!" giggled Con.

Joey gasped in exaggerated horror, and everyone went off into peals of laughter. "So it seems you will get your question answered after all, Eliza!" she laughed.

The dye easily scrubbed off their skin, and it had not reacted with their clothes, but there was nothing to be done about their hair. As Jo said: "So we must all be blonde and gorgeous until we can get to a hairdresser and return to looking half normal!"

However, as the dye set in, there was a shock in store for them all:

Len was inspecting her hair in the mirror, and the whole family was brought running by her startled shriek.

"Why, it's GREEN!"

And green it was, shocking neon green, and she was a sight to behold. Her morher and siblings were little better.

They tried and tried, but they simply couldn't get it out, so Jo did the beat she could and phoned up Herr Alpen to ask for an appointment as soon as possible (which turned out to be the next morning).

And so it was that when Jack returned home from the San., he was greeted by an incredibly shamefaced wife, whose hair was not its usual lovely jet colour, but was:

"BRIGHT green, Joey, what on Earth...?"

She was forced to explain, and, fortunately for them all, he was not angry, in fact, he voiced his only thoughts in an amused "Oh, Joey!"
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